Is your tendency to say “yes” first or “no”?
I challenge you to get conscious of your dialogue when you are asked something directly or are contemplating it internally. Does the dialogue start with “Yes and”, “Yes but” or “no and” or “no but”? and why does it start with each of these? Ask yourself that real question, and listen to your answer. Then ask the same question again, and listen–the more you ask, the deeper the truth will be that comes forward.
Have you seen the movie “Yes Man”? it’s a Jim Carrey movie, and his character, is deeply stuck in the pattern of saying “No” to everything. His world is very small and uninspiring. Through the course of the movie, he is challenged to say “yes” to absolutely everything (insert radical pattern break here)–and the rest, well you can watch the movie if you are interested.
What I am struck by, is if you make the switch to being conscious to your yes/no pattern, you are saying “yes” to what you want to, and “no” to what you want to. The final outcome is: your choices are aligned with your deeper feelings and motivations. I am not saying this switch is comfortable or effortless, but I am saying that making your unconscious pattern, a conscious one, will help you make honest, real and heartfelt choices.
Now, on to the topic of fear. We often say no out of fear. So when you notice yourself saying no, you may wish to ask yourself a different question: “what am I afraid of”? Again, keep asking the question to get to the core of the answer. Once you have the deepest honest answer available, you can choose to stay, or create a different outcome. Again, its about consciousness.
I am by no means advocating for a “say “yes” to everything” regimen as a path to wholehearted living. I am challenging you to:
get conscious about your current rhythm
notice where it suits you and where it holds you back
start listening to your deepest wants and knowing (or acknowledging you have some)
experiment and respond differently in the “yes or no”
see what happens next.
Are you up for it?…what was your initial automatic answer, “yes or no”? Here’s your first chance to put yourself through those steps with this very challenge.
I would love for you to let me know what you are noticing 🙂