Resistance. It is what happens that makes us try to stem the flow of things. It is what makes us try diligently to stop things that are unstoppable, or hold back experiences that must happen. We ALL do it. I was just doing it (where do you think the inspiration for this article came from?)
What was I resisting, you ask? Change. I was resisting the inevitable experience of change. Something that has been the “same” for 5 1/2 years is going to change, and I was in RESISTANCE about it. How did I know? I couldn’t fully express myself. I was crabby. I was trying to find a way to bargain with the world, to stop this change from happening. I was trying to find a way to have the best of both worlds. Resistance is futile, and while that is a great sci-fi line, it is also a universal truth.
Resistance is a bit like holding back a race car that is going full throttle with wheels spinning. It is exhausting, all consuming, and useless. At some point, that race car will break free, and your exhausted self will see the underside of that car as it mows you over, and speeds off. Race cars cannot be held back, and if we try, we burn our energy in resistance and have nothing left to give. Resistance narrows our viewpoint and insists we fight an un-winnable fight. Resistance is busywork that distracts us from the thing we REALLY don’t want to do: acknowledge and feel.
If you can feel the times you (or someone around you) is in resistance, and you would like to explore possibilities: read on.
How to get out of resistance
- Acknowledge the Resistance: Shine a light on the fact you KNOW you are fighting SOMETHING. Let that truth be known by you, and others (if that applies).
- Acknowledge the Feeling: If you quiet yourself, and the resistance, you will begin to FEEL something. What is the feeling? Can you find a way to express it? Can you let the “real deal” out?
- Keep Breathing: if step one and step two feel scary and make you want to lash out or hide your feelings–just breathe. If the voices in your head say “This isn’t about feelings”–SPOILER ALERT: yes it is, and the gremlins are feeding you a line of bullshit to keep you from being vulnerable and getting uncomfortable. Keep breathing.
- Say Something: Express that feeling out loud. If you can’t tell someone, tell yourself. No, this isn’t crazy talk. Pointing things out to yourself is an important step to bring consciousness to places that have been habitually unconscious. This could be as simple as “right now I am feeling….because….”
- Do Something: Now that you know what you are in resistance about, and how you are feeling about it, what are you going to DO that is a conscious response rather than an unconscious reaction?
So all of this might sound something like: “Oh I notice I have my back up about something.” (silence, notice, feel) Breathe, “I am feeling angry about a lack of acknowledgement.” Breathe, breathe, breathe. “I want to talk to you about this, and see if we can create something different” TA-DA! From resistance to action.
So, now it’s your turn. Where are you in resistance? What are you resisting? Have ya got it in you to try the five steps?
Pssst…I know you do.